11. Business Trip

3 min read

Written Monday January 27, 2020 / Day 168 / Afternoon

The only times I left my sweetie were on business trips. Those were occasions that work took me to - some to visit a client, others to participate in training or visit other company locations.

Many times others were with me - still others were just me alone.

I always enjoyed an aspect of some trips. Going to new places, trying to figure out how to get around. There really was not time to sightsee - but the exercise of finding hotels, locations and other objectives was something I really enjoyed. I was a mini-explorer in one sense.

But the part that was difficult was leaving my sweetie behind. As we got older - I would leave notes for her to find in my absence. She would hide hers in my luggage as she would help me pack for the trips.

The trips were never all that long. There was a period of time I was traveling to a location in Maine and staying for a week before returning home. Those were difficult times for us as our son was in grade school and my absence for a week would always affect the family in a negative way. It would take a week to recover, then I would have to go again. Thankfully - that time in our lives was not prolonged.

As the week of goodbye continues it struck me today what has happened here. Happened in a metaphoric way for sure - but functionally there seems to be the same elements of something familiar.

That my life now has the qualities of a business trip.

When I took each trip - I had to leave her. That was difficult for both of us.

Remember - we came together in a dramatic way. We were forged together even then. Our bond was strong - we actually wanted to be with each other - all of the time.

So when a trip would show up on the schedule there was always a bit of angst that would rise up in both of us.

Before the days of continual and often oppressive streams of messages - our time to connect was on a daily phone call at night.

And it was not all that long - long enough to hear each other and share our temporary sorrow of our separation.

But unlike now - I would come home from those trips.

And there she would be. Waiting for me. And I so grateful to return to her.

The business trip I am now on has so many elements of the past trips.

I have to go out on my own. I have work to do that takes me away from her.

In this case I do not know how long the trip will be.

I cannot call her of course - I can only dream of her.

And although the job I am being prepared for is unwelcome, unappreciated and unwanted - I can see the elements of it forming around me.

It’s like watching myself on a security camera. I can see a lot of things going on around me - but I am not really sharing in the moments - just observing them unfold.

So as I leave for my trip - I have to say goodbye to her once again. It is a painful goodbye. It cannot be any other way.

11. Business Trip

Written Monday January 27, 2020 / Day 168 / Afternoon

The only times I left my sweetie were on business trips. Those were occasions that work took me to - some to visit a client, others to participate in training or visit other company locations.

Many times others were with me - still others were just me alone.

I always enjoyed an aspect of some trips. Going to new places, trying to figure out how to get around. There really was not time to sightsee - but the exercise of finding hotels, locations and other objectives was something I really enjoyed. I was a mini-explorer in one sense.

But the part that was difficult was leaving my sweetie behind. As we got older - I would leave notes for her to find in my absence. She would hide hers in my luggage as she would help me pack for the trips.

As the week of goodbye continues it struck me today what has happened here. Happened in a metaphoric way for sure - but functionally there seems to be the same elements of something familiar.

That my life now has the qualities of a business trip.

When I took each trip - I had to leave her. That was difficult for both of us.

Remember - we came together in a dramatic way. We were forged together even then. Our bond was strong - we actually wanted to be with each other - all of the time.

So when a trip would show up on the schedule there was always a bit of angst that would rise up in both of us.

Before the days of continual and often oppressive streams of messages - our time to connect was on a daily phone call at night.

And it was not all that long - long enough to hear each other and share our temporary sorrow of our separation.

But unlike now - I would come home from those trips.

And there she would be. Waiting for me. And I so grateful to return to her.

The business trip I am now on has so many elements of the past trips.

I have to go out on my own. I have work to do that takes me away from her.

In this case I do not know how long the trip will be.

I cannot call her of course - I can only dream of her.

And although the job I am being prepared for is unwelcome, unappreciated and unwanted - I can see the elements of it forming around me.

It’s like watching myself on a security camera. I can see a lot of things going on around me - but I am not really sharing in the moments - just observing them unfold.

So as I leave for my trip - I have to say goodbye to her once again. It is a painful goodbye. It cannot be any other way.

I have taken them before

.

I will take this one - the trip is already on the books. My passage assured.

Alone.

A trip I will endure until I can come home to her again.

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