11. One Week

4 min read

Written Sunday March 8, 2020 / Day 209 / Afternoon

We all know that life can change in a moment - that is what brought us to the state of grief. That moment when everything changed forever.

Today I am reflecting on the most astounding week I have had during this journey.

Although the calendar says only seven days have elapsed - emotionally it has been a trip that has seemingly gone on for months.

It all started on the last Sunday of February (February 23rd) when my prayer for a conversation was my cry to God. It was something that I always have prayed about during this journey - but on that day, the prayer was particularly intense.

Sunday March 1st then marked the amazing answer to that prayer (Volume 7 - Essay #9 “The Answer”).

Meeting someone who was willing to enter my world, spend time with me and listen and share was beyond incredible to me. Lost on the desert island of emptiness - having survived on emotional relationship scraps - the supply ship had finally arrived. It was a feast of conversation. A feast dreamt about that was finally fulfilled.

This sent the forces of grief into a tailspin. Someone was going to breech the emptiness and enter this surreal world that no other had ventured into.

Sleep became an issue - these forces of change starting to manifest themselves before the change actually occurred.

It was Wednesday that we met for dinner at 5 o’clock. The conversation was amazing - first that I was even having one - second that here was someone who wanted to share. We were interrupted only by the closing of the restaurant at 9 pm. Apparently we had no problem talking.

I had mentioned the local botanical gardens for a further conversation - a great place to go for that purpose. We planned for lunch at noon on Saturday.

Comprehending what had just occurred was quite an effort on my part. I had conversations in the past. They were rather superficial from those who did not dare enter my world completely. This conversation was different. Something was not typical. I would later realize that God - who orchestrated our meeting the previous Sunday, was sending His love to me through His emissary. Someone who cared enough to reach out to a stranger and meet that stranger where they were living.

Sleep continued to be a problem. The forces of darkness contending with this new ray of light entering their domain. And for me? Anticipating another session of this wonderful new experience - too much to manage or contain.

My analytical nature straining to keep this new taste of reality in the box it needed to be in - the one I had asked for.

Saturday came with lunch and more light. More opportunity to share - perhaps to some casual observer just a normal encounter - yet to the grief-stricken survivor - more of God’s love being expressed - flowing like water over a parched spirit needing to be healed.

Conversation only interrupted once we realized we had to depart before the facility would be closing in less that an hour.

My unpretentious spirit - flowing from the depths of the emptiness that it had formerly lived in to a new place where there was a taste of what real conversation, respect and sharing could be like.

My head spinning as I left the gardens.

The forces of darkness now on notice that a change had occurred. One that they would never recover from.

God’s love is like that.

I asked to sit with her at the next weeks services. Attracted perhaps by this new connection and all that it was doing at the core of my being. A request that I later doubted was too much to ask of a connection that was not even a week old.

In my spirit, however, where there is no time - having lived what seemed like months - it was and effort before I could get a grip on where the whirlwind of emotion was trying to take me.

We talked to clarify what was going on. We defined what was and what was not. My efforts to contain the power unleashed in our time together back into the context of my original request.

We parted that afternoon with the perspective I had originally prayed for - someone to have a conversation with.

I was now a different person. No one would be able to tell on the surface - but I knew. Something had changed.

I had a conversation I never thought possible.

And found a wonderfully open, caring and compassionate person God sent to deliver it.

The vacuum of emptiness at last had met its match. Its power now challenged - and forever changed.

Changed to allow that future I have been dreading for so long - to now take its seat at the table of my life.

Because of a beautiful person sent by God to bring the gift of conversation, love and respect.

Taking my journey to a new place that the future I formerly resisted could now begin to grow.

All from one prayer.

All in one week.

11. One Week

Written Sunday March 8, 2020 / Day 209 / Afternoon

We all know that life can change in a moment - that is what brought us to the state of grief. That moment when everything changed forever.

Today I am reflecting on the most astounding week I have had during this journey.

Although the calendar says only seven days have elapsed - emotionally it has been a trip that has seemingly gone on for months.

It all started on the last Sunday of February (February 23rd) when my prayer for a conversation was my cry to God. It was something that I always have prayed about during this journey - but on that day, the prayer was particularly intense.

Sunday March 1st then marked the amazing answer to that prayer (Volume 7 - Essay #9 “The Answer”).

This sent the forces of grief into a tailspin. Someone was going to breech the emptiness and enter this surreal world that no other had ventured into.

Sleep became an issue - these forces of change starting to manifest themselves before the change actually occurred.

It was Wednesday that we met for dinner at 5 o’clock. The conversation was amazing - first that I was even having one - second that here was someone who wanted to share. We were interrupted only by the closing of the restaurant at 9 pm. Apparently we had no problem talking.

I had mentioned the local botanical gardens for a further conversation - a great place to go for that purpose. We planned for lunch at noon on Saturday.

Sleep continued to be a problem. The forces of darkness contending with this new ray of light entering their domain. And for me? Anticipating another session of this wonderful new experience - too much to manage or contain.

My analytical nature straining to keep this new taste of reality in the box it needed to be in - the one I had asked for.

Saturday came with lunch and more light. More opportunity to share - perhaps to some casual observer just a normal encounter - yet to the grief-stricken survivor - more of God’s love being expressed - flowing like water over a parched spirit needing to be healed.

Conversation only interrupted once we realized we had to depart before the facility would be closing in less that an hour.

My unpretentious spirit - flowing from the depths of the emptiness that it had formerly lived in to a new place where there was a taste of what real conversation, respect and sharing could be like.

My head spinning as I left the gardens.

The forces of darkness now on notice that a change had occurred. One that they would never recover from.

God’s love is like that.

I asked to sit with her at the next weeks services. Attracted perhaps by this new connection and all that it was doing at the core of my being. A request that I later doubted was too much to ask of a connection that was not even a week old.

In my spirit, however, where there is no time - having lived what seemed like months - it was and effort before I could get a grip on where the whirlwind of emotion was trying to take me.

We talked to clarify what was going on. We defined what was and what was not. My efforts to contain the power unleashed in our time together back into the context of my original request.

We parted that afternoon with the perspective I had originally prayed for - someone to have a conversation with.

I was now a different person. No one would be able to tell on the surface - but I knew. Something had changed.

I had a conversation I never thought possible.

And found a wonderfully open, caring and compassionate person God sent to deliver it.

The vacuum of emptiness at last had met its match. Its power now challenged - and forever changed.

Changed to allow that future I have been dreading for so long - to now take its seat at the table of my life.

Because of a beautiful person sent by God to bring the gift of conversation, love and respect.

Taking my journey to a new place that the future I formerly resisted could now begin to grow.

All from one prayer.

All in one week.

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