15. Reunion

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Written Wednesday March 11, 2020 / Day 212 / Afternoon

I had an unexpected visitor this afternoon. I really had no idea that we would be meeting again.

I was sitting on the couch - trying to recover a bit from the spring time change and my extraordinary week that I recently experienced when all of a sudden there it was.

Calm.

I asked. “What are you doing here? Do I even know you?”.

My reaction was quite a surprise to me. I do not think I have experienced this type of calm in at least the past 5 years. Perhaps longer. My pre-grief life was anything but calm - and for these last 212 days, well - calm is the last thing I would expect.

The appearance of calm was quite sudden. I just noticed it as I reflected on the day and recent past events.

The presence of calm - quite stunning.

It was like going to a remote area away from civilization and then listening for any noise. In those situations there just isn’t any noise. It is so peaceful. So still - it almost hurts.

Calm is just like that.

As I recognized the appearance of calm - I marveled at it.

Expecting as I always do - the ricochet of emotion that always accompanied a lull in the grief cauldron. This time though - there was none of that.

No turmoil.

No contention.

No nothing.

“What could this be?” I mused.

It is like nothing I have ever experienced in recent memory.

Wow. Calm.

So that is what it is like.

It seems like with the war with the future now over (Volume 7 - Essay #12 “Cease Fire”) that the constant turmoil that was baked into the background of my life has lifted. Will any of that return? No telling - but what I do know is that there is enough reduction in turmoil that calm finally had enough room to make an appearance.

And it did.

Calm is an entirely new aspect of my life. One that has been absent for so long.

With calm now on the scene - who knows how my thinking will change?

Along with the presence of a new person who has entered into my world - the landscape has certainly been altered in a profound way.

The effects of these changes to assuredly be felt in the days and weeks ahead.

As I assess this new arrival in my world, the question is - who else may be stopping by?

Calm, as calm as it is, will not reveal anything as of yet.

And that’s fine.

I can wait.

It is a bit easier - now that the mood is so calm.

15. Reunion

Written Wednesday March 11, 2020 / Day 212 / Afternoon

I had an unexpected visitor this afternoon. I really had no idea that we would be meeting again.

I was sitting on the couch - trying to recover a bit from the spring time change and my extraordinary week that I recently experienced when all of a sudden there it was.

Calm.

I asked. “What are you doing here? Do I even know you?”.

My reaction was quite a surprise to me. I do not think I have experienced this type of calm in at least the past 5 years. Perhaps longer. My pre-grief life was anything but calm - and for these last 212 days, well - calm is the last thing I would expect.

The appearance of calm was quite sudden. I just noticed it as I reflected on the day and recent past events.

The presence of calm - quite stunning.

It was like going to a remote area away from civilization and then listening for any noise. In those situations there just isn’t any noise. It is so peaceful. So still - it almost hurts.

Calm is just like that.

As I recognized the appearance of calm - I marveled at it.

Expecting as I always do - the ricochet of emotion that always accompanied a lull in the grief cauldron. This time though - there was none of that.

No turmoil.

No contention.

No nothing.

“What could this be?” I mused.

It is like nothing I have ever experienced in recent memory.

Wow. Calm.

So that is what it is like.

And it did.

Calm is an entirely new aspect of my life. One that has been absent for so long.

With calm now on the scene - who knows how my thinking will change?

Along with the presence of a new person who has entered into my world - the landscape has certainly been altered in a profound way.

The effects of these changes to assuredly be felt in the days and weeks ahead.

As I assess this new arrival in my world, the question is - who else may be stopping by?

Calm, as calm as it is, will not reveal anything as of yet.

And that’s fine.

I can wait.

It is a bit easier - now that the mood is so calm.

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