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15. The Fog


Sometimes that's all we can see.

Written Wednesday, October 3, 2019 / Day 52 / Evening


(Written during the “Coping with Grief Through Writing” support group - Wednesday, October 3, 2019)


Grief is like a fog. As you are going through each day - what is ahead of you - you just don’t know. Some days there will be cliffs you fall down, others days you will stumble, still others have smooth paths.


The only constant is that you can never know.


It is difficult when others who are not in the fog wonder why you are moving so slowly - why you walk with such short steps. They are not able to realize that we do not know if we are going to fall because of what is ahead of us. Because we do not know what is awaiting us.


For us - the future is not clear - I can see when there will be a time when that will be the case - but not today. And I am not going to pretend that I can know that date - but it will come.


In the fog, all you have is where you are and where you have been.


Looking back - I try to not to dwell on the worst things I can see that are behind me. I strain to pick out only those parts of the journey that remind me of the joy that once was.


The present then will be what it is.


I need patience to move on.


Taking care of the present and its needs takes my mind off of the fog that is ahead - at least for the moment.


Now it is time to move on through the fog - knowing that perhaps I am a little more aware of what might be ahead of me. Praying that I am a bit stronger to make the journey as I have overcome the harder parts of the journey that has taken place.


It is one step at a time.


Fogs lift.


Skies clear.


I move forward one step at a time until that day will come.

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