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18. A Love Story

Updated: May 4, 2020


It was all of this and more. (These were our rings.)

Written Tuesday, September 3, 2019 / Day 22 / Afternoon


I received a call today from someone who had just found out about my wife yesterday. She was going to call right then when she had heard but could not pull herself together to make the call. I understand.


As we were talking about the situation - I told her I would send her some of the story I had written to share with those who were not part of the immediate impact of the situation.


She mentioned something to me that deeply touched me in a wonderful way. We had run into this couple occasionally and our meetings were always warm and friendly. We have known them for most of the time in Virginia (30+ years) so we have a lot of background. Time and space and responsibilities seemed to have kept us apart.


She mentioned to me that my wife, in her conversation with her told her two things. That she had lived a full life and was prepared for whatever future God had for her.


Then she mentioned how I have taken care of her so well during all of her illness - the exact comment she related was " I could not have had a better husband.".


That touched me to the core of my being. For some reason it was like she was saying it to me right then. I loved her with my whole heart and this comment was a validation of what I knew she knew.


It was overwhelming.


Back when we first got together - 47 years previously, her situation was not good. We would lament now how wrong some of the things we did were - but know that at the time - we were struggling as all of us have done to get through what life puts in front of us.


Back then, my future wife was in an incredibly emotional period of time. I had bonded to her in a way that was beyond my years (22) and in the end I couldn't leave her to face the situation alone. I continually told her for years afterward I would never leave her - even when her emotional state told her that I might - it was that traumatic.


Well I never did. I was with her until 9:50 am, August 12, 2019. I had never left her.


I know that's one of the reason that the pain and anguish of her being gone strikes me so deeply.


Back in that day - we had a song. It was by Anne Murray and it was called "You needed Me". It was one of those songs that you would swear was written just for you.


It was our theme song. I'd like to share the lyrics after I relate the situation so you can experience the deep meaning it has.


As I mentioned, she was in an extreme emotional state at the time. Her life was changing in a fundamental way. Her family and friends did not understand the depth of it. That is how it is when you are just an observer to the superficial elements of what can be seen and not the depths of the emotions behind them.


It was a confusing time for her.


She had been married before - and not to dwell on that but to relate that she had a new opportunity ahead of her. I loved her then - just as I did at 9:49 am on that August 12th morning. She was everything then and all the days in between.


With my love, she was able to get a grip on her situation and go forward, She had never had such love in her life and it was amazing to her. Likewise I had never had anyone even remotely care about me in the way she did. I was equally in disbelief about such a relationship.


We were the most unlikely people to be together. We knew each other from an early age and our backgrounds couldn't have been any more different than they were. Ultimately we did not intend to be together - but over time we came to see how much we really cared for each other.


It was January - there were many cold nights I would hold her hand and take her home and comforted her that everything would be all right.


She had a new hope she never thought possible through the love we discovered. It was the most honest thing we both ever experienced. We were always sorry for the problems it brought with it.


I want you to see how the words of this song illustrate this time of our life. I always needed her and she knew it and I never ever left her. I couldn't.


You Needed Me - Anne Murray

I cried a tear, you wiped it dry

I was confused, you cleared my mind

I sold my soul, you bought it back for me

And held me up and gave me dignity

Somehow you needed me


You gave me strength to stand alone again

To face the world out on my own again

You put me high upon a pedestal

So high that I could almost see eternity

You needed me, you needed me


And I can't believe it's you I can't believe it's true

I needed you and you were there

And I'll never leave, why should I leave, I'd be a fool

'Cause I finally found someone who really cares


You held my hand when it was cold

When I was lost, you took me home

You gave me hope when I was at the end

And turned my lies back into truth again

You even called me friend


You gave me strength to stand alone again

To face the world out on my own again

You put me high upon a pedestal

So high that I could almost see eternity

You needed me, you needed me


You needed me, you needed me


I did all of those things for her and more. I know this can't effect you as much as it does me - but in this song was the core of our relationship.


She is and was everything to me. I marvel at the gift she was to me. Nothing could take our love away.


Until now.


The relationship is now over - for that I mourn.


God gave me a great gift in her.


And for that I will always be grateful beyond words.

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