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2. Lessons of Gratitude

Written Sunday, March 29, 2020 / Day 230 / Evening

A most unusual lesson came this morning - one I had not seen coming. Yet this lesson had wide implications as to how I had been living my life in the state of grief. It also has a revelation as to how life will be lived going forward.

I find it amazing that we often know of the information that we might deem “a revelation”. In a sense we actually know more than we think we do. It is the influence of our “feelings” and our accompanying human nature that cloud the foundational knowledge many of us posses but have lost touch with.

I woke up this morning as I always have on the journey with the assessment of “Where I am?”. Well, I know where I am, but the gravity of the new day comes and along with it the lesson that it knows best how to deliver.

You are alone again today.

Your life that you knew and loved has disappeared.

Here you are yet again to face the emptiness and hollowness that is your life.

What a depressing wake up call! Yet, one that has consistently played each day of my journey.

Yes those are true facts.

Often, an obligation of the day or other duty will appear to redirect my attention to their needs and then motivate me to get along with the day and address them.

So after a rough start - many days creak along.

And so this burden becomes a part of every day.

Now however, with a complete reversal of my pathetic life, to one where hope and it’s friends, calm and peace, have arrived to take their place at the table of my life - there is a new outlook. The new outlook bringing a refreshing new direction and a new atmosphere that was previously dominated by the bullies of grief and its miserable group of associates.

Within this new atmosphere though - the echos of that miserable perspective still lingering in the background.

Waking up now there is a revelation that so many new, wonderful, encouraging things are taking place. The blessing of conversation. The realization that there are those truly interested in my situation…and me. The absence of the heavy and foreboding background that permeated each waking moment unless there was some activity that had to be addressed that would drown out the static.

And yet with this kicker, “Sure, but what is going to happen next? Will it continue? Will you be abandoned? Will this be as far as you go?”

Ouch!

Here I have so much good going on, why does it have to be spoiled with such thoughts?

Well, it doesn’t.

That’s the lesson of today.

Basically I have been trained in being miserable. Each day of the state of grief cementing the spirit of desperation, foreboding and loss deep into my heart.

I had never really noticed since that was all I had to work with.

Now that the new direction has arrived, there needs to be some changes.

And here they are:

I will focus on gratitude.

I will not focus any longer on what I do not have.

Actually, I have a pretty good idea of what I do not have. So why drag that up each day as if to check to see that something has changed. Nothing has changed in that department.

What has changed is that God has performed several astounding miracles that have disarmed the darkness and have given me incomprehensible (to me at least) blessings and new opportunities.

Why not focus on that?

I do not have to worry about what is ahead. If anything, the last 29 days have taught me that my deliverance has come and a new direction is going to be in my future. I do not need to micro-manage that. From what I am seeing, I am moving to some place that will become apparent when I am ready.

As I actually always thought - even in my darkest days of grief - I did know that there would be hope. It just wasn’t coming until I was ready.

Looks like I am ready.

So each morning going forward will be a celebration of what has been accomplished beginning March 1, 2020. That pivotal day when God sent his extraordinary representative to forever change my life.

I will celebrate what has taken place.

Relish the victory.

And not give a moments thought to what is ahead.

Because if I have learned anything for the past 29 days is that I am in good hands.

I always was.

And always will be.

2. Lessons of Gratitude

Written Sunday, March 29, 2020 / Day 230 / Evening

A most unusual lesson came this morning - one I had not seen coming. Yet this lesson had wide implications as to how I had been living my life in the state of grief. It also has a revelation as to how life will be lived going forward.

I woke up this morning as I always have on the journey with the assessment of “Where I am?”. Well, I know where I am, but the gravity of the new day comes and along with it the lesson that it knows best how to deliver.

You are alone again today.

Your life that you knew and loved has disappeared.

Here you are yet again to face the emptiness and hollowness that is your life.

What a depressing wake up call! Yet, one that has consistently played each day of my journey.

Yes those are true facts.

Often, an obligation of the day or other duty will appear to redirect my attention to their needs and then motivate me to get along with the day and address them.

So after a rough start - many days creak along.

And so this burden becomes a part of every day.

Within this new atmosphere though - the echos of that miserable perspective still lingering in the background.

And yet with this kicker, “Sure, but what is going to happen next? Will it continue? Will you be abandoned? Will this be as far as you go?”

Ouch!

Here I have so much good going on, why does it have to be spoiled with such thoughts?

Well, it doesn’t.

That’s the lesson of today.

Basically I have been trained in being miserable. Each day of the state of grief cementing the spirit of desperation, foreboding and loss deep into my heart.

I had never really noticed since that was all I had to work with.

Now that the new direction has arrived, there needs to be some changes.

And here they are:

I will focus on gratitude.

I will not focus any longer on what I do not have.

Actually, I have a pretty good idea of what I do not have. So why drag that up each day as if to check to see that something has changed. Nothing has changed in that department.

What has changed is that God has performed several astounding miracles that have disarmed the darkness and have given me incomprehensible (to me at least) blessings and new opportunities.

Why not focus on that?

I do not have to worry about what is ahead. If anything, the last 29 days have taught me that my deliverance has come and a new direction is going to be in my future. I do not need to micro-manage that. From what I am seeing, I am moving to some place that will become apparent when I am ready.

As I actually always thought - even in my darkest days of grief - I did know that there would be hope. It just wasn’t coming until I was ready.

Looks like I am ready.

So each morning going forward will be a celebration of what has been accomplished beginning March 1, 2020. That pivotal day when God sent his extraordinary representative to forever change my life.

I will celebrate what has taken place.

Relish the victory.

And not give a moments thought to what is ahead.

Because if I have learned anything for the past 29 days is that I am in good hands.

I always was.

And always will be.

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