Introduction to Volume 7

What you are about to do as you continue to share my grief journey.

This is Volume 7 of Essays on Grief.

It is a part of my every day that I do not have any concept of my everyday.

They can be sad, awful, contentious, calm, neutral or just plain plain.

There is no predicting what they will be.

After the tumultuous weeks chronicled in Volume 6, I now find myself in an even more upside down existence.

Upside down because time is losing its cohesion. February 12th was sixth month since my life ended.

So what does that mean? I’m not sure at this point. Surreal just doesn’t even cut it any more.

What have I been doing for six months?

Existing. Living. Writing. Experiencing every emotion known to man as well as an array of emotions that have no earthly definition.

In the vast emptiness that envelops my days - only disrupted by the tasks and obligations that emerge to be addressed - is that vast emptiness.

Relentless and yet empty. This is not just an empty room as I have mentioned in the past - it is a vacuum. There is nothing tangible in it as of yet.

You will be coming with me on this part of the journey.

There seems to be something surrounding me. I sense it but as of yet do not perceive anything inside the emptiness.

I think it’s the future.

The vacuum might have a chance of becoming filled with something. It might be close to being breached. There may be a small leak of something that may fill that void.

It may be the future.

Let’s read about what that will be. As of the date I am writing this - I have not written about what you will soon read in this volume 7. But as these essays have taught me - the future seems to leak through them at times.

Not enough to emerge as anything solid. But you never know.

This may be the time. We’ll see.

Read on and we’ll find out.