November 3, 2020 - “The sufferings of the present…”

...to give them crowns instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of [tears of] grief...

Romans 8:18-23 has been at the forefront of this grief journey. The apostle Paul painting the picture in this scripture - as many other scriptures do - that we are to suffer in this broken world. But along with the suffering will come an unimaginable life beyond any of the pain that we have suffered here.

And in these fifteen months of my journey - I have experienced emotional suffering beyond anything I could have ever conceived of having. All the while with no one to really share that burden - nor would I have wanted to inflict that weight of suffering on anyone else.

Yet knowing as I have prayed from the beginning - that the grief I was experiencing - in all of its fury - would be turned into strength. I would not know how or could even dream of how that would be - but I knew only one thing - that it would be changed.

As I write this article I am in abject awe for what God in his endless and infinite mercy has reached down to me to provide.

On September 8, 2020 - just another day in grief - He planted a seed. Looking back at the apparent “randomness” of the events of the morning - knowing by now that His plan was being executed in the midst of what we see as the ordinary and mundane.

The idea of finding another sufferer - another one on their journey in the midst of a superficial and hedonistic world - seeking the same things I was seeking. A person with God at their core who wanted just one simple thing - to love again.

Knowing full well - that the fulfillment of that desire to love again - is just not possible in our own strength. Yet it is possible to find parts of it - but those parts that do not really satisfy us in our hearts nor do they represent a foundation on which to build a life.

Finding this person then - a person not afraid to be open - was exhilarating. A person not afraid to share themselves. As the conversations began - I was not afraid to do that either. Through these writings - as I faced my grief journey, the writings have been a regular outlet for the deepest of emotions and feelings that could be unleashed.

Days unfolding into weeks of discovery. Telling our stories to each other. Learning about one another’s life. And not only their lives - but the lives of the ones that they had shared all of their heart and soul and their deepest thoughts.

The pictures emerging - pictures of love - pictures of sacrifice and of the endless love that one can only lavish on their soulmate.

Through the weeks ahead from the September day - meeting, eating and sharing so many more experiences, texts and conversations to “test” this fledgling relationship. To test its strength - to rest in the foundation of that strength. A strength that only two who had given everything could understand and comprehend - and most importantly - know where that strength came from.

So it was that in the testing, the discovery, the adventures - there came a realization - we are looking at someone who is very special indeed. Someone who could only be recognized by another who also inhabited that special reality.

It is not for everyone. Actually not for very many.

But it became extraordinarily clear - this was a person that the other could have never comprehended existed. Faith told us this could be despite our loneliness and emptiness. We lived each day knowing God was in charge.

And so on that regular, normal, mundane day in the state of grief - September 8, 2020 - God decided in His infinite wisdom that it was time for them to meet.

And so they did.

And on that day - God’s work of fulfilling the prayers we had both been praying had been completed.

Our work then would be sharing the love He has given us - taking all that we are - as well as the best of those days we mourn to relive and the memories of those we cherish - and blending all of that into a new and beautiful relationship.

Where His love will flow in a new way - where we will become new people - and that love will take us to a foretaste of that glory mentioned in Roman 8:18 - in this life.

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the

glory he will reveal to us later.”

That incredible future glory - a glory we cannot even comprehend from where we sit today.

The very idea that we could experience even a portion of that glory in this life - through this new relationship is stunning beyond words.

It is unexpected - unanticipated and beyond anything that could be comprehended.

What lies ahead then is an amazing part in the journey of Facing Grief - the threshold - the doorway to what God always knew was there - but for us - the discovery of this joyful yet surreal world is just ahead to be experienced.

Praising God each day for what He has done.